We are not okay
A friend drops a video on Facebook Live. They are at Target for the first time in 13 months, and they aren’t wearing a face mask. “Everyone is acting like things are normal. Things are not normal.” Another friend tells me about an impromptu emergency solo road trip she took because she just needed to GTFO. I flip through a year’s worth of selfies and remark on how badly the stress and face masks made my acne flare up, leaving scars on my face that I may carry for the rest of my life.
If you’re feeling discomfort upon reentry into “normal” life, know that you’re not alone. Things aren’t normal. We went through a 100-year event, a global pandemic the likes of which we have not seen since 1918. It changed our bodies, our relationships, our families, and our lives. It took people, time, and opportunities from us. It’s OK to grieve those changes. If you need permission, if you’ve been looking consciously or subconsciously for a sign that it’s OK to sit down and process it — let this be it.
We live in a capitalist dominance culture, and that culture doesn’t give people space or time to honor our losses, even losses as concrete and remarkable as the death of a loved one. That being said, there are certainly no rituals or collective ways to process something as humungous and yet ambiguous as the pandemic. That’s why I encourage you to create your own ritual to mark this passage into the post-pandemic world.
For me, I’m a big believer in burning stuff you need to let go of. You could meet up with your friends and make a bonfire out of the masks you no longer need and talk about the lost year. Or you can write a letter to yourself about how this experience transformed you. You could take a solo drive and watch the sunrise somewhere. Whatever it is, take the time to do something meaningful to you to mark this passage, because it’s a big one.
Things are not normal. We have all changed — body, mind, and spirit. In a culture that encourages us to slap on a sunny face and pretend like nothing’s happened, please — please — make the time you need to process it all.
Life is impossible sometimes. And we need to acknowledge how impossible it is if we hope to stay human.
